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Interpersonal skills and the art of dealing with others

What do interpersonal skills mean?

  Man is a social being by nature and cannot live and manage his life without dealing with other people. Therefore, it is necessary to learn the art of dealing with others, which is one of the arts that every person needs; It is useful in all areas of life. The art of dealing with others can be defined as a set of correct and appropriate behaviors practiced by the individual in society, a manager, or a leader when dealing with others in various situations of daily life, and it can also be defined as the tenets and foundations that refer to the correct and polite way of dealing with others, and failure to do so leads to alienation from others and failure to form productive relationships with them.

Interpersonal skills and the art of dealing with others

The art of dealing with others is the ability to keep boundaries between others within the framework of friendliness and respect and to keep everyone the same distance from you. It is the most important social art due to the different natures of people, and it is an art that many people are not good at despite its importance as a basic social behavioral skill that we must have and learn, and therefore there are some of the fundamentals to be respected in relationships with people that contribute to gaining the trust, love, and respect of people, and thus access to the establishment of fruitful and effective social relationships between people.

Benefits of learning the art of dealing with others

Learning the art of dealing properly with others has several benefits that are reflected in relationships in general, including the individual's success in dealing properly with others will bring him happiness in the first place, as he will feel love people for him and their eagerness to get close to him and admiration for him, and that's He makes others happy and makes them feel fun to deal with. Learning the art of getting along with others helps us try to understand others better and reduces problems and conflicts. Learning the art of dealing with others shows us the correct foundations for dealing with different groups of people. Correctly treating others leads to the establishment of friendly relations, love, and mutual respect between the two parties.

  Our knowledge of the principles of how to deal with others helps us to overcome our fears of others and gives us greater self-confidence when talking about any subject, and also helps us to increase the confidence of others in us.

  The foundations of the art of relating to others

Several principles should be followed when dealing with others, including:

1- Looking at things with the eyes of others: One of the foundations of the art of dealing with others is to look at things with the eyes. Looking at things from the perspective of others is key to staying in tune with this world, and it's a principle that applies to everything we do and our various relationships. If you want your relationships to be successful with your clients, family, and friends, and look at things from their perspective, you have to get out of yourself and start thinking about other people's interests. Once you start having an open dialogue, don't just think about yourself or your own needs, but think about the other person's needs, and the result will be great. Step outside yourself to discover the things that are important to others.

2- Leave a good first impression: a person should be interested in leaving a good first impression on anyone they meet, as first impressions often have a big impact on the future of your relationship with others and their behavior towards you, and most impressions are formed within the first few seconds of your contact with the people you are getting to know for the first time. The impression that others made of you was positive because most likely you will be able to establish excellent and fruitful relationships, whether at the level of your work relations or the level of your social relations. On the contrary, leaving a negative impression creates a negative idea for those who want to deal with you and cut off communication and the relationship before it begins. Therefore, you must avoid this completely and try as much as possible to control your actions and control your behavior in front of others, because of the difficulty of changing this first view of others about you and changing their idea, leaving a positive image, and always a good image of you with others.

3- Stay away from blaming and criticizing others: one of the secrets of the art of dealing with others is not to rush to blame them in any situation during our relationship with them, and this is stated by Dale Carnegie in his book "The Art of Dealing with People", where he says that 90% of people don't criticize themselves no matter how many mistakes they make. Blame is so painful that a person defends himself and justifies his position to preserve his pride and his image in front of himself and front of others. It takes time to fix yourself, and then you can devote your next time to fixing others. Confucius said: "Do not complain about the snow that has accumulated on your neighbor's doorstep until you have first removed what has accumulated on your doorstep". We must remember when we deal with others that we are dealing not with rational creatures, but with emotional creatures with souls full of whims, pride, and vanity. Anyone can criticize, blame, accuse, and most fools do, but you have to control yourself and be loving and tolerant of others. And if you want to criticize or blame someone, make sure your criticism is constructive and that you think things through before directing them and discuss them with respect and out of sight of others.

  4- Admit your mistake: “Admitting a mistake is a virtue. This is one of the foundations of the art of dealing with others. Admitting one's mistake and apologizing for it is considered a strength, not a weakness as most people think, and it's one of the characteristics of the strong and a sign of self-confidence. So take the initiative to admit your mistakes before others confront you with them and never try to simplify the impact of what you have done or blame others, and you must take responsibility for your actions, to avoid repeating them later.

 5- Praise people and praise them: Sincere and sincere praise is one of the secrets of the art of dealing with people, so take the initiative to focus on the good qualities of others and praise them and congratulate them sincerely. Every human being needs to hear what makes them feel important and great, and here we don't mean flattery or vulgarity in compliment or exaggeration, but rather sincere feelings emanating from the heart and free from contempt. hypocrisy, and hypocrisy.

6- Show a genuine interest in others: If you want to win others' love for you, you must take the initiative to take care of them first and show them this interest without expecting anything in return. Each person feels better than the other in some way, and if you want to take possession of their heart and win their love, make them feel their importance and your appreciation for them in all sincerity and sincerity. Showing interest in others is the best way to convince them and make them care about you. People respond to those who care about them. You can say, "You are very important to me," "I care about you," or start your conversation with someone by talking about something related to the person you're talking to. The more you focus on others, the stronger and more fruitful your relationships will be. So if you want others to love you, and if you want to develop a true friendship, focus on this principle.

7- The skill of speaking and listening: One of the skills that anyone who has mastered the art of dealing with others must possess is the skill of speaking, and this is one of the things that attract people and endear them to the person with a high level of speaking skill. Often people want to talk and cannot find someone who has mastered the art of listening; Therefore, the ability to listen and listen is one of the skills that anyone who wants to master the art of dealing with others must have. Listening is deeper than listening, and you can engage the other person in the conversation without interrupting them in the middle of the conversation by nodding occasionally or following their speech with a vocal expression such what to say "Yes, I understand", or shaking your head to show you agree with what you are saying, or change your sitting position, or focus your gaze on the speaker and when he has finished, ask him a question about what he said so that the interlocutor would be happier. All people love the people they listen to and feel that those who listen to them respect and care for them.

  8-. Respect and Appreciation: Showing appreciation and respect to others through praise and thanks is one of the important things that strengthen the bonds of love and acceptance. When people feel appreciated and respected, they have confidence in themselves, and it also strengthens their relationship with them.

9- Avoid points of difference: This is a key point in the art of dealing with others. Human relations refuse to be in an intermediate zone, and most people want to know are you with me or against me? Are you with them on common ground or away from them? Therefore, try as much as possible in your relations with others to avoid points of disagreement between you and them, and positively start the dialogue, emphasizing the things on which you agree with the person. with whom you are dealing, and make him feel that you are looking for a result and that the difference between you lies in the means and not in the relations with others.

  10- Meet others with a smile: A sincere smile is the key to winning people's hearts, and frowning is the fastest way to alienate yourself and stay away from you. Begin by greeting people with a gentle smile, talking to them while looking at them, and listening attentively, thus giving others a sense of comfort towards you, compelling them to treat you with the same openness and spontaneity.

11 - Understand others, accept their differences and respect their opinions: One of the duties and bases of the art of dealing with others is to accept them and their different ideas. This method is one of the important methods. Because it increases control and control over other people's feelings, and it also helps get rid of the negativity that can come with the relationship, as the other party accepts the person and is comfortable with them. And when you start talking to someone saying "You're wrong" or "I'm going to prove such and such", it's as if you were telling them, I'm smarter than you, and I'm going to tell you something it will make you change your mind because you have dealt a direct blow to his intelligence, wisdom, and self-esteem, but it won't dissuade him from his opinion even if you used logic because you hurt his feelings. Alternatively, you can say, "I think I have a different opinion, and I could be wrong. I'm often wrong. If I'm wrong, I want you to correct my mistake, let us investigate the facts." Nobody can object and make sure you won't get in trouble as long as you admit it, and it will suggest to your interlocutor that you are fair and just, which can make them admit that he, too, maybe wrong.

  12- Humility and good advice: One of the most important qualities that people must have to be close to those around them is humility because arrogant people try to stay away from them. Don't hurt other people's feelings even when joking, because hurtful words leave their mark on the hearts and hurt the pride of those you hurt, and appreciate the feelings of the young before the old. With a little deliberation and thought, you can carefully choose your words with others and turn them into kind, positive words without causing them harm or pain. One of the things people don't like is advising the public, and as the saying goes, “He who gives you advice in public has denounced you”; Who among us likes people who expose them and reveal their flaws? Therefore, it is the right way to give advice individually, and this method is one of the most important ways to deal well with others.

13- Win the other: you can influence people by maintaining friendship, respect, and friendship with all the people around you, as well as by treating them in good faith and avoiding arousing enmity and hate, and be trustworthy, and in return, you have to trust the people around you to trust you.

In conclusion: 

The art of dealing with others is one of the arts that must be present and essential to certain people who carry out some of the functions that depend on it, such as public relations and the negotiation department, and people must have the ability to persuade and communicate to know how to deal with personality types.

"One of my hobbies is catching fish, and I can make bait that I set on the hook the best food, but I always prefer to use worm bait, because I don't not submit to my desire in bait selection. I wanted to catch him, I gave him what he wanted." -Dale Carnegie-.


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